Couples’ toys

Rings: How to Get It Right

A ring should be snug but never tight. Soft silicone rings are forgiving of sizing mistakes; metal or rigid rings are not—we do not recommend them for a first-time try. A simple, non-negotiable rule: twenty to thirty minutes maximum, and remove immediately if you experience numbness, coldness, or a change in color. Adjustable or split models can be removed with a single motion, which is preferable to other types.

Choose Together—Really

This is the only category where buying on your own rarely goes well. A toy that’s imposed on you ends up in a drawer; a toy chosen together gets used. Talk about what you want to try before looking at the models—the toy follows your desire, not the other way around.

Shared Harnesses and Toys

A harness is judged by its fit: multiple adjustment points are better than a one-size-fits-all design, and a wide strap holds better than a thin one. Check the diameter of the ring against the base of the toy you plan to attach to it. For anything that’s passed from one person to another: put a condom on the toy, or give it a thorough cleaning in between uses—it’s faster than you’d think.